Welcome to the first-ever Famous and Beloved Newsletter that is behind a PAYWALL. Should you require any more motivation to overcome this wall apart from materially sustaining my creative fulfillment and contributions to culture: the day I am posting this it is my birthday. I am turning an age that is so young you wouldn’t believe it, which is causing me to have ideations about my “career” and “look” that would simply depress you. There is nothing more grotesque than a girl with an internet presence saying that her birthday makes her “sad,” however, so I will not. While introspective, this is actually the nicest birthday I’ve had in 3 years; I celebrated preemptively and am happy to be spending the actual day with my family in the suburbs. I have requested they make me vegetarian buffalo wings (stylized as chick-UN or perhaps chik’n) and strawberry cake, which I will eat after hanging out with a dog that looks like this:
Because this is the first weekly update, I will now share things that happened to me recently. Going forward they will be things that happened in the week prior, ONLY, probably. Surely this makes sense to you.
I learned about Praetorian Jack
One of my favorite concepts is fake proper nouns. The best of all is, of course, “Jackson Maine,” but “Toast the Knowing” is not far behind. Another concept I absolutely adore is “Australia,” which is essentially a fake noun factory. These entities converge miraculously in Fury Road, which I inexplicably did not watch until a Mad Max rep series in 2019, but shortly thereafter made into a key element of my personality for 2 weeks. I specify this timeline because, by Clare standards, 2 weeks is a polite reverence: about how long I was obsessed with the song “Solar Power.” It is a perfect movie, like “SP” is a perfect song, and I am always happy to rewatch it, like I listen to “SP” when I’m on a plane sometimes, but I’m not logging it yearly like other contemporaneous blockbusters. I’ll tell you why: no hot guy.1
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