Megalopolis News May:
Ben wrote a review of the teaser which he disguised as a newsletter about The Rainmaker. Tricky and quick-witted, reminiscent of the way people talk in Titus Groan #MervynMay.
WOW PLATINUM, HAMILTON CRASSUS III, FUNDI ROMAINE, and NUSH ‘THE FIXER’ BERMAN:
C(lodio Pulcher)ool for the summer
Sorry for two posts about clothes, sort of, in a row, but if you haven’t heard, it is New Stuff Spring. This is an idea I came up with a month ago to justify recent gratuitous purchases that I make as though I am playing my favorite game Merge Fellas, frivolously tapping on apps until an item arrives at my apartment. New Stuff Spring also enables me to encourage others in undue purchasing, which I do by saying “you should get that because it’s New Stuff Spring.” The name, while effective, isn’t entirely accurate, however (just like Megalopolis News May); purchases are only part of New Stuff Spring if they are specifically geared toward some future period or event, e.g. a vacation or “the summer.” One of the few things I think is beautiful about life is that people continue to talk about “summer” as though we are forever in the 8th grade and an arrival of 80 degree weather still brings with it, inherently, vacation. It does, I suppose, if part of your New Stuff Spring, like mine, is opening and closing the United Airlines app until you convince yourself $22 is a worthy price to pay for the seat you want because that’s basically the price of Chipotle now.
This particular post isn’t about vacation, though, but how to look cool, on vacation or otherwise. Some trends of the season reported forthwith involve purchases categorizable under New Stuff Spring, but most of them can be mobilized without any new purchases, at all. Except, of course, cigarettes: the chicest and most fleeting commodity to ever exist.
Equipment
One of my favorite Carrie Bradshaw outfits of all time is from one of the best seasons of television of all time, the first of And Just Like That…:
A peek inside my twisted mind: I have thought about this ensemble 1-2 times each week since December 2021. It’s as obvious and ugly as it’s supposed to be (Carrie wears this to get a coffee at her old bodega, symbolizing a return to single life after her husband, John James Preston, dies on his Peloton): the tulle skirt from the original title sequence, updated for a Carrie post- 20 years of real world fashionistas cosplaying as her. I frequently see stills from AJLT on Instagram, almost always of Old Carrie in hats that reiterate the show’s garishness, and I’m always surprised this particular image hasn’t been made more notorious by the Rewatch Economy. The Fendi purse and New York or Nowhere tote combo is as important to me as Sarah Jessica Parker’s affinity for tucking necklaces under bra straps.
Wearing a purse with a tote is not inventive but a practicality of 21st century life. Yet the styling here is so precise: clownish shoulder bag and instantly recognizable, commonplace, and overpriced tote bag, both clearly full of stuff.1 I love City Bags and Tashi Duncan’s XL Loewe Flamenco, but the dichotomous 2-bag pairing allows a tiny bag to be junky and pragmatic, two words I would use if someone were to ask me to describe my personal style in 3 words (third is volatile). Not dissimilarly to the two-bags, I like wearing multiple hair ties on my wrists to an event or snapping claw clips to my Conner Ives bag, both with the goal of making every outfit less try-hard and more utilitarian. While it’s way more normal and only gestures toward equipment, the two-bags also reminds me of SJP’s personal style, which can only be described as Tumi Woman.
I think this is a great direction to go in for summer 2024, as it synthesizes the infantile garbage popularized by Petra Collins and Hillary Taymour during COVID boredom and the post-COVID fetishization of The Row; wear and carry lots of stuff all over your body, but be an adult about it. I will add that, despite my other beefs with him, Jacob Elordi is very good at equipment-dressing for summer and winter, especially when he uses his dog as an accessory. Lourdes Leon is very good at carrying a bunch of stuff, too, including cigarettes, and especially in the summer.
Dressing like your crush
If you talk to me for more than 5 seconds it should be abundantly clear to you that finding and pursuing crushes is one of the main compasses of my life.2 This involves a lot of normal stuff like making Patrick Zweig (smoking a cigarette) the wallpaper on my new iPad (New Stuff Spring), but it also brings out a tick that I’ve recently realized is also kind of a guiding ideology for me: if you think someone is hot in an outfit, you should also wear the outfit. Mostly, for me, this goes undetectable, like wearing Adidas track pants and BBs (Birkenstock Bostons) to the airport because that’s what Austin (Butler) wore to spend the day with a friend in Los Feliz. But sometimes, if you’re taken with something more specific, it could get weirder:
This summer I will likely be doing this by wearing polos and J. Crew menswear linen, not unlike the summer(s?) I was overly inspired by my husband Matthew Macfadyen on Succession. I will also follow a formula I do every year: menswear on top or bottom, underwear on the half that’s not in menswear (bikini top, too-big basketball shorts: huge t-shirt, micro shorts). Or, all ill-fitting menswear with acutely feminine shoes (need $890 for the Alaïa mesh mary janes if anyone wants to help me with this).
Cigarettes
The real inspiration for this post is that smoking is simply back. It never went away, of course, but there have been too many vapes and puritans haunting its cultural might the last decade. Now, there are famously two Josh O’Connor movies about smoking in theaters, and Austin Butler is smoking in a movie and real life. Mike Faist and Greta Lee are smoking at the Met. Anya Taylor-Joy is always smoking, but looked particularly good doing it in what I consider to be the the very first Furiosa-related press image:
I think, for the record, this started when Timothée Chalamet, who has kind of become an otherwise overly sanitized A-lister, smoked at the Beyoncé concert last year. That was a clear sign of his level of stress and discomfort. 🚫Smoking isn't allowed inside SoFi Stadium, according to the venue's website.
I’m on the record saying Alexa-Chung-esque glamor has already never been more back, but a confluence of junky, sexy stuff being as close-to-monocultural as you can get nowadays is only expediting the process. I’m more excited for summer this year than I usually am, because wearing a hoodie and spandex “shorts” to Kinds of Kindness will be way more fun than wearing pink Crocs to Barbie was, and because I entered a sweepstakes to attend The Bikeriders premiere which I am going to use my willpower and strong mind to ensure I win. When I do I will bring Ultra Lights with me (skinny).
Let’s check this out again:
My own dream version of this is the Coperni mini petal bag or Rabanne silver nano with a branded tote from Abercrombie or A.P.C. FYI.
the josh screenshots are getting better and better
i gotta get me some marlboros